Posted without proofreading:
I’m going straight to the dictionary to start this blog post:
a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.
something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture: His flashy car was a lie that deceived no one.
an inaccurate or false statement; a falsehood.
So I am going to add to this definition so as to avoid any ambiguity this would further include the omission of Truth or detail so that statements additionally serve to mislead or deny facts. So all may not be as simple as telling a outright statement of deception, omission is equally a lie, including saying “I don’t know”. At the at the onset, socially line is generally considered an undesirable trait as it serves no purpose to address the problem or objectives at hand. Hence lying is bad, simply don’t do it and you will not have to account for any deviations and the deception contemplated. I believe in the basic premise that all people are good, everything we do or say has been modeled to us in one way or another, no matter how subtle – this includes bad traits such as lying. More than likely you have see someone lied to, been lied to yourself and have inferred some level of acceptance.
Being deceived is confusing, hurtful and manipulative if you’ve been lied to yourself. If the recipient of a lie over time the lie can be carried forward and not be evident until some time later with rather embarrassing consequences. Lies can even vary dependent upon where you are from, a sort of cultural lie if you will. For the lie itself may arises from one of several sources including fear, guilt and/or shame. Instinctively no one wants to appear not in the know, or inadequate in some manner, so a lie is possible to come about psychologically as a means of self preservation. Whether in your personal life or business transactions/interactions, especially if you’ve believed in a politicians or salesman’s words or inferred integrity, there is a high likelihood you have experienced deception. More than one politician has been caught in a lie. While one lie is sufficient to end a career, telling multiple lies can cause a situation to grow out of proportion. “I did not have sexual relations with that woman!” a recent and revered President emphatically stated, only to later attempt to use legalese to try and define what sex “is” in the understand of the word “is” itself. When the most revered offices and highest position in our government lie, which guides the unfolding and upholding of the law is untruthful, at what level has lying become an acceptable practice? Who can you trust? Even the religious are guilty. How does this reflect on previous interactions where truth is paramount, or a person’s credibility and integrity? Scapegoating, justifying or deflecting accountability is not within acceptable social standards. To blame someone else for one’s own prevarication is to further lie to one’s self and to all who are witness.
Have I lied? Have you lied? Did you eat the cookies, but deny it? “Do you like my ____ (article of clothing, culinary creation, artistic masterpiece – fill in the blank)?” – but don’t. Allowing honesty to prevail I have to say shamefully in the past, “yes”. Given that admission is the first step to recovery I have lied to myself, family, friends, etc. Whether out of selfishness or with the thought of avoidance of other problems/issues I have omitted or distorted facts to accomplish goals and intents that may or may not have been in good keeping with the recipients perception of a given situation. Like most people who have lied it is often with the intent of saving face, maintaining peace, or accomplishing a goal – something of perceived convenience on my part. We consider ourselves good people, yet we’ve participated in an untruth – whether it is the person verbalizing an untruth or as a witness knowing what is being communicated is not entirely true. Business deals (sales comes to mind) are over rot with occurrences. No matter the motivation (compassion, material gain or self concept) recognizing the consequences can be substantial, this isn’t a practice I actively engage in, nor something I wish to be a witness to having experienced the feelings of overwhelming guilt and obligation to correct the situation arising from such – asking forgiveness is harder yet and a subject unto itself. Let me be clear, if you have so much as omitted the truth, or knowing been incomplete, witnessed a lie and did nothing to interject – you are guilty of a lie of omission.
In any consequence, lying is used to sway the path of decision making based on the substance of some information. Is there usefulness in lying, or can a beneficial outcome be achieved? Some (many actually) think so. There’s reasonable consideration were lies for the preservation of life, advancing of an agenda or objective could be deemed appropriate. While some would be appalled at the thoughts of condoning a lie, if a jihadist were threatening their life over belief of whether eating pork or not, well I just became a vegetarian! Context would have to come into play and answering the question of compromise of integrity are the considerations a person will have to justify. to lie, to avoid a heinous event or consequence that serves no purpose the preservation of life property or the advancement of humanism.
Should you should you consider lying as a general practice, you should be aware of the deleterious effects line has economically, physically and mentally. The worst of which can be the destruction of a relationship. Self honesty is the key to prevention, err to the side of caution so lies don’t originate.
There is a great documentary project addressing the subject and looks at lying as apart of the human condition and it’s after affects called “THE (DIS)HONESTY PROJECT” well worth consideration and gives a much greater look into the subject.
With forgiveness we can move forward, this includes forgiving oneself. Re-establishing trust and a renewed vision with all you do and in every interaction/transaction you conduct reflect in your character and can embolden your persona for your truthfulness.
About that casserole …